Completing a PhD with a Family (Part 1): Schedules

Someone recently approached me for advice to finish a PhD with a family. As I started writing this blog, I realized that I couldn't just put all of that information into one post. Here is the first in a series of blogs about completing a PhD with a family. In this blog I break down a suggested weekly schedule, and then give suggestions on what to do during each part of the day.

One caveat I think is important: While I mention "PhD," these principles can apply to most doctoral programs and situations around the world.

A Little Bit About Families:

Families are important, and you will not be able to get through a PhD successfully without their support. Once you have an idea of your commitments, sit down with your family and discuss the sacrifices with them.

Ask them to hold you accountable to your PhD work, but to also hold you accountable to your family work. If needed, write and agreement and stick to it. A PhD is a roughly 3 year commitment. Your family is forever. I've known so many people who have lost marriages and kids because of a PhD. Don't let that be you.

Weekly Schedules:

I recommend working for 6 days on your PhD and taking 24 hours completely off. Depending on how you execute the day off, you may be able to rest your thoughts and rejuvenate yourself for the upcoming week. If it's important for God to do, it's important for me.

I worked on my PhD for up to 2 hours in the morning, 1 hour at night and 30-60 minutes during the day, Monday - Friday. On Saturday, I would work for 4 hours in the morning only. In my time on Saturday, I would focus on coming to a grand pause with my research so I would feel better about leaving it until my planning time on Sunday night. The rest of the time was my regular job and my family/friends.

Compartmentalization is crucial here.

Saturday afternoons to Sunday evenings were devoted to church and family. Even if I was alone for whatever reason, I would do pleasure reading, take a walk, watch TV and just enjoy myself. The break is important to your success.

Mornings:

The research suggests that mornings are the best time to accomplish deep work. I suggest setting aside at least 2 hours to work in the morning before getting ready for the day. It will take time to develop the habit, but you will thank yourself! Your brain is fresh, and you can typically get up and get at it. Here's how I recommend tackling the mornings.

1. Create a habit stack. Learn to execute the habit stack in 15 minutes in order to be ready to accomplish 2 hours worth of work.

2. Change into your PhD job clothes, rather than your day job. This will put you in a mental frame to work on your PhD.

3. Stay off of social media, email, and especially your phone. These will cause distractions. You may be able to accomplish more in that 1.5 - 2 hours than you can all day, but you will have to get rid of the cognitive residue caused by the other devices and focus deeply on the task.

4. Choose a specific task to accomplish. Typically only 1 task is enough.

5. Multitasking may be futile. Finish the plan. You decided on it for a reason. Bouncing between tasks will leave a lot of lose ends and not give you a sense of accomplishment.

6. Allot 5-10 minutes to journal. Keep a journal on your work space and log your accomplishments and proposed next steps. This will help you track your progress in a meaningful manner.

Mornings are NOT the time to download various research articles and fight with formatting. Mornings are for reading with note taking OR writing.

Mornings Big Idea:

Be specific with your tasks and consistent with your mornings.

Evenings:

Devote 1 hour in the evenings to prepare for the next morning. Regardless of your evening task, make sure that you are preparing for the following day. Having everything laid-out for your next PhD work session will make the following morning much easier. Don't forget to set the coffee, too.

Here are some tasks I would recommend for evenings:

1. Editing. If I wrote content in the morning, I would edit in the evening and put corrections in the electronic draft.

2. Searching for additional literature. Remember to be purposeful.

3. Processing statistics. Set a goal, keep notes, and focus on answering your research questions.

4. Look-over your thoughts notebook. Some of these items may need your attention.

5. Set-up for the next day. Regardless of what task you accomplish, be sure to set yourself up with clear expectations for the morning. Write your morning task in a place where you can see it and have all of the materials set up for that task and ready to go.

Create a shutdown ritual and do not think about your PhD the remainder of the night.

Evening Big Idea:

Finish the day; set up for the next morning; shut down for the night.

Throughout the Day:

Undoubtedly, you will think about your PhD during the day. Here are some strategies you can use to minimize the impact to your job and family, but still make progress toward your PhD.

1. Keep a small notebook and pen in your pocket. This is your thoughts notebook.

2. Write down ideas you may have that relate to your PhD. Write them down quickly and put away the notebook.

Resist using your phone for this. You will find the internet and other apps distracting and forget what you were thinking.

Conclusion:

There are only 24 hours in a day, and if you plan to use those hours purposefully, there is time for your family, work, and PhD without getting overwhelmed. Feel free to use and modify these tips to fit your specific schedule and lifestyle. There is no "one size fits all" solution to doing a PhD, working full time, and having a family. The key is communication and consistency. Be purposeful in all you do, and set realistic rexpectations. The goal is for you to be healthy and thriving through this process.

Coming Soon:

• How to involve your spouse and kids.

• Organizational strategies.

• Maximizing Productivity.